Your Home Is Where Your Heart Is.. Right?

I lived most of my childhood in the suburbs of Vaasa. My mum still lives in that area with my little brother and I work close by in a local elementary school every now and then as a substitute teacher. My mum moved few blocks away from our old house which we had lived in for almost 10 years and she says it's not like home but I disagree. What I admire about my mom is that she is able to make a home where ever she goes. Like now, the new house is smaller than the house before (I don't have my old room anymore!) but it's still feels like home. My mom collects small porcelain figures and she has colorful little lamps. It might sound little tasteless but it's not, it's homey. So now that I was at moms' I was looking back all those pictures of me and my siblings growing up and added with the pictures of my niece and nephews. Life is funny isn't it. When I see my mom, I don't see her get older but I know that even though I don't wish to admit it, she does.

Time has been an issue for me lately. As I walk in the halls of my old elementary school, go to the teachers lounge I cannot help thinking of how I was the little girl in the class and how my worries were so small then. I had transferred from another school and trying to get friends. I had the biggest crush on two of the cutest guys on my class and I mostly argued with my parents about whose turn it is to take the dogs out. I didn't have a cell phone but used a old phone model to ring my friend Teija "Hi, this is Jenni. Is Teija home and can she come and play with me".

We are always in such a hurry. In elementary school we have a small circle of friends and life is pretty simple. Then we go to middle school and then problems get little bigger and we get a new set of friends. Then that is done as well in a flash. How fast we grow up from that small kid who goes to town with their moms to buy clothes into a big kid who goes to the mall to buy alcohol. Looking back now, turning 18 was a big THING but now I think it wasn't really. I think the big number was 15. When you are 15 you are not a kid anymore but you are not an adult either. When you are 15 someone for the first time asks you seriously "What are you going to be when you grow up?" As a kid, saying an astronaut was okay but when you are 15 you ought to take these questions seriously.

When I think about my home I think about many homes that I have lived in. My first home is with mum and dad. Then my very first own home was with Mari. We were way too young and stupid to live alone but it was fun for that one year. Second place I thought as home wasn't really a house it was a place. USA. I just fit in. For the first time in my life I wasn't odd or too talkative or too anything. I was just me. I think I've been homeless every since. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in the alley or anything but I don't feel like home. I'm glad to be roommates with Hanna because she is a bit homeless as well. As for me, I just have my stuff here but my heart isn't really here anymore. So going to my mums' yesterday .. I was home. I was with my family but at the same time i know that my own home is somewhere out there. Waiting me to put out my porcelain figures, scented candles and IKEA furniture.

Have Great Weekend Ya'll.

Jenni

1. Home neighborhood



2. Surroundings in USA



3. Landscape in Africa



4. Next pit stop