Back To Middle School

Earlier this evening I ended up watching a documentary serie about 9th graders in my former middle school Variska. It was shot last year and all thought the kids were unfamiliar to me the surroundings were more than familiar. That place and that neighborhood was my life for 15 years and still today I work there occasionally and visit my mom who still lives in that area.

I was facebooking with Hanna and I mentioned how odd it was to see your old school in this kind of form. And she said that she didn't know the tv-show took place in was my former school. I realized that I don't really talk about that period of my life too often. I wasn't bullied or anything I was just so lost with myself that I didn't really enjoy middle school. First half I hang out with the most popular kids in the school thinking I was better than others and second half I found myself looking friends from those I had mistreated. My parents divorced around that time, my family moved and my sister moved out. So yea. That was difficult time for me. But now, looking back to that tv-show and thinking how much has happened after that. I had my dark days and I consider how easy it would be just to quit life if I had done that, how much would I have lost. All those great things I've seen and experienced since Middle School and about to experience in the future.

I took a little walk in the memory lane with my photo album. I don't have a lot of pictures from that period of my life but here are some. I have to say that I'm forever thankful for Johanna1 and her family to being there for me when I was in a very dark place in my life. Funny how it was Johanna who came to my rescue even though I had been a horrible bitch towards her in the first year and a half. She is still today, my go-to person and best friend.







It a wonderful thing, time I mean. Those things that were so painful and big in middle school (2001-2003) are so minimal right now. When I look back in time 10 years from now, what will I think of it? I hope I can look back with a smile on my face, because this life that I'm living now - is pretty darn good and about to get better just in two months.

Jenni

Ps.

Many people have asked me, how can I still be a member of the church after taking such a stand for the gay rights in my previous blog post. Jenni, aren't you a little hypocrite. In a way, I'am. I don't know why leaving the church is such a big deal for me. I have had the website open that allows me to leave the church with just few clicks. I mean. Even though my family isn't too religious, I've been in confirmation and parish camps. I've been in Sunday school and I'm a godmother. I have huge respect for church because it has done good things. I feel that world is about to change, maybe - just maybe church will change too. Because 15 000 Finns have taken a stand. And if things won't change, leaving the church is just one online click away.