How Am I Supposed To Breathe With No Air

Sunrise at Vaasa 7am.

So this is going to be a very long and boring post about my misery this week. If you don't care, and why should you, you can just skip this one and come back to the more happy and cheerful posts. Because this is my blog, and if I wish to complain. That's what I'll do. 


..After a very active last weekend I was looking forward to this weekend as well. I'd have money and my brother is home as well.. Monday I took Roki out before work, went to work normally and got home. Later that day I went for a very long walk and went to bed after. This is when things started to go all wrong. 

When I went to bed, I felt pressure on my lungs. Like someone is sitting on them and not in a very sexual and playful kinda of way. But in a "Great, it's hard to breathe!" way and I knew that shit is going to go down.

Tuesday. Coming back from work, my lungs started aching properly. I was breathing but there was no air. I still had my sisters dog and I knew this was serious. I did SOS call to mum and dad. Dad took the dog back to my sisters and mum brought me my medicine. (After first insisting I must go to the hospital which I declined as I don't like the hospitals, so the argument took some time, she gave in as I'm very stubborn!) Okay, I thought. Just gonna clean this house and everything will be fine.

Wednesday, everything felt normal. Went to swim with my little ones to Tropiclandia early in the Wednesday morning. "Why would you go swimming if you had hard time breathing" Fell fuck me, I thought it was just reacting to the dog or something.. I felt fine on Wednesday.


"Why would you have a dog over if you are allergic??" BUT I'm not. I had a dog of my on for 13 years, how an Earth should I have known that it was a Bad Idea.

THERE. 

Tropiclandia - Vaasa

 .. And later on Wednesday I went to the movies with Vanessa. I didn't even bike so I should be fine. Wrong. While I was sitting there and watching the Hunger Games (Brilliant! I must say!) started to feel uneasy again...Lost my voice completely. And was without air again. The only times when I panic are medical reasons. Like when I have to the dentist I start panicking or to the doctors. After a horrid night sleep, took a trip to the White Jackets. I have no problems with young doctors, my dentist is awesome and she is very young, but he was so insecure what do with me. Is it pneumonia? Is it asthma? Is it something else? 

This hellish asthma/pneumonia/what-ever-it-is has now lasted for ... five days. Almost wrote that I've never been this sick, not really true as I have had Swine flu and Amoeba but yea, it sucks! The breathing is one problem but when you add the most terrible throat ache and dry cough - fuck me. Also the medication makes me so sleepy that I think I've slept ... out of 24h/day 18 hours. I can just doze off when the antihistamine kicks in. 


Then there is the sound of my voice. 

First I sounded like a solid criminal. My voice was very rusty and harsh "Come here kiddies, daddy has some candy for you"

Then I was my dad.

Then the weird uncle.

Part of the HELP I've forced to use this week. 

And now finally, I sound like a teenage boy during his voice change

So yea it has been awful week. The amount of tea I have had, has most likely saved the tea industry. "Finland is now the leading country of drinking tea and coffee" I have eaten boxes of Vicks Blue and Mynthons. Cough syrup -yup. Asthma inhalator - yep. Strepsils for the sore throat. Buckets of warm water. Cortisone. Flu medicine. Pain killers and used few sniffers as well. Fuck me, all this is expensive. And I haven't even started telling in what ways I have used garlic. RAW garlic I may add. Did I mention the ice cubes? And how I ate them as well when it was really hurting?

Why am I up so early? I get these amazing dreams of thirst. I had a dream about being back in Middle School and in the cafeteria. I was drinking water cup after cup but the thirst didn't go away  --- woke up with a feeling of sandpaper in my mouth. Oh yea, it wasn't a dream but I was actually really dying without water. I'm like Dumbledore in Harry Potter and Half blood Prince. 

(Those whom are not familiar with this Harry Potter refrence, educate yourself with: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Drink_of_Despair)

Luckily. This week from hell is almost done. I still have today and tomorrow to be sick. I have faith that by Monday I'll be healthy again. I must. I have sooo many things to do and very busy days at work ahead of me. And it's my favorite week of the year - EASTER week. BOOM bithces, it's APRIL time.

But because misery and April can't fit to the same post I think it's time to, once again, to give in to my medicine and go back to bed. 

I would love to thank my amazing mum, for once again coming to my rescue. Times like these, misery and suffering, I wish to move back home and be cuddled by my mama. Mamma telling me that Jenni, everything will be okay and even though you hurt now this too, shall pass.

I love you mommy <3

Love. Jenni.