Disco Inferno

OOOHHHH to be young and restless again. (Well technically, I'm not even that old yet but to be 15 - have no worries, no regrets just .. so full of life and taking joy from little things in life.)

I just got back from the no-alco-no-drugs disco that was organized for everyone between ages 13-17 and oh the memories. As I was standing there on the side, guarding the place and listening the fine tunes our DJ was playing - I took a trip back to the year... 2003. So I got home and dug out my old diary.

Jenni. 15 years old. Liking two boys at the same time. Problems at home and in heart.

"3.2 2003

Hi ya diary :D. 


Oh, how to describe how I'm feeling right now.. Sun is shining and the birds are signing, life is good. Today I got a message from X telling that he and M are coming over to my house. I went meet them half way and me and X started flirting, pushing each other here and there. I accidentally fell and X picked me up and before I noticed, I'm resting under his arm. Nice and cozy. I just felt like I never want to let go of him. It was just so perfect. I feel like M was looking rather pleased with himself, he has been trying to get me and X together. If he hadn't been there... oh my. But hey, as for now we are just friends!"

Me and X stayed as friends and still are friends today :) M actually liked me at the time. I just didn't see it, I only had eyes for X.

"7.3 2003.

.... shit shit shit shit. I just heard that mum and dad are about to divorce. WHAT THE FCUK? I can't understand why? :( Something about dad and work? I don't know and I don't care!!! If this wasn't bad enough I just realized that T and I aren't really friends anymore. I mean T has been my best friend since elementary school and now she doesn't have time for me anymore?? And J is so god damn jealous of me and X and acting like a total bitch. It's not my fault that X and I like each other and we flirt and have fun. OH, I also heard that K has said to S that she doesn't really like me?? I hate hearing shit about me behind my back..."


My mum and dad did divorce, didn't play out nice and neat. Me and T became close again in high school. J and X liked each other but never acted on it. J wasn't jealous but we liked the same boys so..and T and I became close friends again-

AND lastly. 


" 8.3 2003

...So last night. We all went drinking to I's. And it all was chaotic. Mostly because I can't really remember anything but mostly because J and X hooked up?? I haaaate her so much!! So I took revenge and cuddled with M myself. To be honest, X was acting like a real jerk - talking how he is the shit and how he is soooo good looking  Gross. I'm not so sure what's the fun in drinking, we all act crazy stupid, puke and hook up. I guess we do it because it comes with the age. And because it's fun.


But I'm confused about M now.. does HE like me?  

X or M? "


We never went drinking at I's again. M told me after that he liked me, I liked him too but was too scared of dating. M and J started dating after some time. X still has a habit of being crazy drunk sometimes but has been in a relationship for years now. We all continued being friends in high school. I don't hate J. I absolutely love her these days.

***

Life, is so dramatic when we are young. We live in that moment, we challenge the rules but we need guidance to help us through the days. Parents divorce, relationship drama, living at home, hating your life, loving your life.. It's only a second when we have a chance to enjoy these things. In high school we grow up so fast. Then it's work, university, being independent, moving out, getting old .. turning 25.

I wish, teens now would enjoy their youth. Enjoy their time of being young.

Like Jenni, age 15 says in the end of her diary:


"...9th grade just ended and I'm about to start my very first summer job in a school garden with my former bff and then nemesis Jenna. We haven't been friends in ages so let's see what will happen. All I know that the sun is shining and I'm feeling really confused about 9th grade being over. Goodbye old neighborhoods, high school starts in the fall and it's in town. We are all going to our different ways. I don't know what will happen next but ... luckily, I have a whole summer ahead of me. Summer with my friends."

(Me and Jenna became really good friends again, and still are today)

Disco Inferno may last forever, but we don't. Cuddle, kiss and love. Tomorrow we one day older again. Tic tac says the clock, we don't live forever.

Jenni