Bad Romance

Hey. 

Do you know the feeling when a relationship takes the wrong turn and turn ugly? Relationship, friendship, partnership even (or especially) with family .. it's hard to say when the turn happened. What was the moment in time when everything started going all wrong.  Who said something bad? Who misbehaved? Was something misunderstood - when was the trust broken?

There are so many songs made from heartache and anger. I think there as many songs made of broken relationships as there are songs made of love. Love and hate often go hand in hand and that's why it is hard to say when love turns into hate. Or when you love someone/something you have always hated. Hate is such a powerful word. I think we don't really HATE that many things, we more or less DISLIKE things and people. 

Have I ever hated anyone? Yes, I have hated three people back in the day but that hate has disappeared long ago and turned into polite hi and hello on the street when paths cross. If hate is a strong word love is equally powerful. I have truly loved one person with all my heart. I have liked, been interested in, keen on.. but only once loved. Love can last forever or love can fade. Love can also change from passionate love into love love. By this I mean the kind of love that doesn't need any physical touching and it doesn't cause any emotional pain - you just love someone for who they are, they were and will be. 

Bad Romance. I see Bad Romance as destructive force. It's like you are trying to force love, you are trying to force the relationship. One is trying so hard to make things work when they just don't work anymore. Love has been turned into bad and infected with all the side affects of hate. Side affects such as jealousy, pride, negligence and pretense. Pretending that everything is fine. Acting polite like there is nothing wrong. Proud to admit that there is a problem.  In a Bad Romance things are twisted,: . "That look .. those words" 

In Bad Romance we try to please the other party. We try to reason and bargain. We feel guilty and we get mad but in the end, there is no point. It takes two/three/seven for a bad romance. No one is completely innocent nor fucking perfect. We all make mistakes but sometimes one needs to take back the bad words, sit down and talk, when it is still possible. Who will admit the Bad Romance? Who will take the first step?

Bad romance is something you come home with, it's something you carry on with. Bad romance is poisonous, it's venom. Slowly that love you once had has turned into hate. But what hate does better than love is - it spreads. When we are resentful, hateful and mad we have a habit of spreading it out, because we can't just hold it in. It's too much. But we still try. Just being in the same room with Bad Romance makes others shiver. It's in the air. Bad Romance is hard to leave because you loved it once. Those feelings of love and respect are hard to let go.

Relationship ends and you grief. 

What once was, is now gone. Let it go because you can't be caught in a Bad Romance. 

Jenni