The Country Of Silence

How do you know? Do you know him?

Suspect: Male, 18-30 years old
No previous history of violence
Plays computer games such as World Of Warcraft and grand Theft Auto
Not in a relationship, Broken up from a relationship, only internet based relationships (such as chat rooms and gaming, zoosk)

Bullied as a child / Normal Childhood
No previous record
Not an active member of the community
Has few good friends
A loner
Stressed / No signs of stress
Broken home / Close relationship with family
Not part of any known terrorist group
YouTube account with gun related posts
No signs of abnormal behavior 
OK student

**

This morning I woke up and did my usual morning routines. Woke up slowly and dragged myself to computer to check my Facebook and the news. Usually it's nothing big. Usually it's just about politics and foreign scandals. Money laundry and such. Hockey or Formula. But, once a year: It's something bad. 

2008 and 2009 it was school shootings in Finland. 2010 earthquake in Haiti, 2011 Utoya and now 2012 shooting in Finland again. Out of these five incidents only one I can understand and that's the earthquake. All the others have been by male, under 30 years of age without any previous signs of violence. Who could've known? 

It was horrible to wake up and read about shootings in Hyvinkää. Hanna just moved there, did she go out with her friend in the evening? Was she hurt? Luckily she wasn't, but two died. Seven wounded and one fighting for her life. Friend of a friend. Friend of my many friends.

May I ask, what is it? What is it that makes it so bad and horrible that you just need to go to your relatives gun cabinet, steal guns, go to a rooftop and prey on your victims? Is it because you wanted glory? Or is it because you felt desperate?

Killing innocents you are not only destroying their young lives, but you are destroying your own. Your family's life and the lives of the people who lost someone. Or those who are now in hospital waiting by the bed to see if their family member will recover.

Just because you were desperate? Or just because you had an idea?

Not to accuse anyone, most definitely not all men out there - but why is it, that most of these horrible events in the past year are done by men? So many rape and abuse headlines. Girl walking on the street and randomly been stabbed because one couldn't get help. Should I be afraid to walk out of the house? 

Yea. I could write about fear. How it seems that fear is becoming more than relevant for the young these days.

When I was in Kenya, I was afraid to leave the house at dark. If I was somewhere and saw it was close to 6pm I had to hurry home. Being outside, and being white female would get me robbed or raped. Most likely both. It was very tiring and all I could do is to wish to return home where I can walk safe at night. But, it isn't so safe anymore.

I bet alllll the women out there, have had that feeling once or twice. I'm not alone in my home. Somebody is following me. What was in that drink? Is this taxi taking me home? The other day, I was in the bathroom taking a shower and had the door unlocked, I had the strangest feeling that I wasn't alone. I was really afraid, did somebody come up to my balcony - is this the way I'm going to die? It's awful that women have to be afraid of so many things. If we get beaten, we asked for it. If we get raped, we asked for it. If we get abused, we asked for it. If we get shot, we asked for it? 

There is no way, we can be cautious all the time. There is no way I'll ever give into fear. But I've learned to tell people I love them as you never know - is this it? Make sure people you love know how you feel. Never leave a fight unsolved or bad words said between. Never make the mistake of thinking "I'll call him or her next week and we sort this out". No, don't live in fear but live in caution that this might be it. These people yesterday were leaving from a bar, didn't hurt anybody and were about to celebrate graduation - two of them won't get that chase.

Why is it, that these shooting incidents are done by men? I talked about this a little bit today wit Johanna, and I said that men have soooo many feelings inside and these feelings grow bigger and bigger until they just burst out in a heat of violence. Usually by beating someone, usually your significant other.

And then we have men who plan, schedule and commit a horrendous acts of many murders. Instead of taking that time and dedication that one is plotting murders - one could actually use it to get better. To get help. To be that determined to get help. Instead of planning murder, one could choose life and get help. World sucks sometimes, it really does and I can bet if man has had shit in his life over and over again that anger builds up and one just needs to get it out. Get help.

I mean, dude there is always someone who will listen. You have no idea HOW GOOD IT FEELS to talk about the shit you've feeling with someone, feels so much better than killing people i bet. To murder an innocent is a stain you have walk with for the rest of your life - You Are A Murderer but if you just man up, walk into the nearest health center or fucking call 112 and say "I need help, can you help me" ... Help will come. There are great counselors in almost every place you can imagine: Your school, your parish, your workplace. Your mum will listen, your friends will help. There are people you can call anonymously and or you can email for for help. Just get it.

It's OKAY to feel bad, it's okay to feel like shit and cry. It's okay to fucking curse this life and all the living innit and fucking bang your head into the door because there is just so much pain and things you want to say but don't know how to - it's okay. You will get help, but only if you ask. And if asking is too much make it known. You don't have to kill or hit anyone to make it known, you can write or note or send a quick message but make it known that you need help. 

I'm most definitively not saying that women are not cruel. Women are. Women can be as cruel as men or if not more cruel. Women might go through the same shitty emotions and feelings as men do, but it's the network that helps us.

I once wrote that all the women are connected to this imaginative web of feelings, empathy and sympathy. When we feel that the world collides and this are just not okay, instead of picking up a gun, we pick up the web and make it known we are not okay. 

Women who can't connect the web still won't pics up the gun. Our conscience is just so overwhelming that the idea of shooting innocents and causing that much suffering isn't possible to us. So instead of using guns we hurt ourselves. We cut. Women are cutters. We hurt our own bodies when we don't have the web. We use drugs so we are shut off this world, painkillers are friends of those whom are not connected to the web. But we don't pick up a gun and that i'm grateful of. Women hurt just as men do, and even tho it's bad that we cut but it's better than using that gun. 




And to the Finnish Government.  Your youth is suffering. Your beautiful youth is not okay. There is just so much shit that they are going through right now. They are expected to succeed but keys to that success are lost. Please help them. Don't put and waste your money on buildings and on EU. I'm all about being global and international but right now, that money needs to be put into action here. We need more qualified workers out there. We need to ease the stress on teachers and educationers so they are not overwhelmed and able to spot when one is not okay. 

We need to put more money on giving help and teaching this generation to talk.

What foreigners see in Finland is that people are mute. That Finns don't talk. We need to teach Finns to speak again. I have my BSW and I've been trained very well to make people talk, and they do. People, the very young to the very old have so much to say if they just have the keys and ways to say it. Best thing we can do now, is to change the whole educational system to ease stress from the young and the innocent. It's okay to be different, it's okay to be hurt, it's okay to alone but it's not okay that you are not heard. 

What I learned in Kenya, from the little children whom had worms in their head and no shoes in their feet, was that it wasn't the toys or money they wanted, they wanted to be seen and heard. We need to make sure, Finns - women and men learn to speak up. Learn to say I need help. And we need to give that help immediately, not to put them waiting for 3 month for a maybe time and a quick check up.


I'm asking you to use my tax money wise. I'm willing to give a cut of my earnings but only if it's put into a good use. This would be it. Help our youth.

Jenni.