Fcuk You Hormones

If you are a man, you have no idea how fucking annoying hormones are. You have no idea how fucking annoying it is, that once a month, for a week or so, you are emotionally invalid person. It so annoying that at the moment everything makes me want to cry. C R Y. I almost never cry but right now I feel like crying about everything. "Why doesn't that one person I like - like me back" "Why did that child die?" "Why my friends don't love me no more" "Why am I out of cheese" 

Also what fucks me up is that man can fly to the moon, man can cut brain into bits and pieces and make it whole, man can clone, man can land on Mars but man can't fix this fucking hormonal shit? "But Jenni, you can give life. You are meant to suffer so you can have children and have that incredible mummy bond with your child" EXCUSEEEEE me but the fuck is that about. First of all, no. Second, hell no. And third, yes. I can carry a child and deliver it and then continue having hormonal outbursts while taking care of that child. So fucking unfair.

Sometimes hormones spare you and you don't feel like killing anyone, but most of the time, my hormones are making me cry and feel sorry for myself. All I want to do is eat chocolate, cry and watch romantic comedies. My friends don't get me, my crush doesn't want me, I'm not doing a good job at work, children hate me, my family is against me and I'm the loneliest elephant in the world. My bike tyre broke and Big Brother is so stupid because my favorite couple isn't innit anymore.



My jeans don't fit and this house is never clean. My asthma is back and my nose is running. I woke up too early and I can't go to sleep in time. Facebook is boring and when I finally went shopping there was nothing to buy. I went to the bar and had to say goodbye to Vanessa and ended up crying in the womens bathroom. Vanessa gave me a nice "there there" tap on my shoulder. I can't sing karaoke like everyone else cause my voice is horrible so I ended up being the outsider. Of course people sang the sad karaoke songs and that made me want to cry too.

I'm misunderstood and my best friend lives in America and he isn't here to comfort me. Money is stupid and I can't afford to go to Madison to meet him. I' m tired and cranky because it's only September and Summer 2013 seems so far away. My brother is in the army and I miss him so much and I feel so guilty about messing things up with my godson. My dad is never around and my mum is at work.




I hate being on diet because I'd like to eat chocolate to feel better but I can't because "bite on your lips will be forever on your hips".  Even losing weight sucks because now I have to think what I eat all the time and I feel like the pounds that I lost are coming back fast. You'd think it's all fun and glorious to be losing weight but it's not. Yea it's fun to use jeans and look good but I actually like eating good food.

I miss traveling and I miss the summer. Why does Salla live so far away? Why have I fell out of contact with quite few of my good friends and what is friendship anyway? Why  is there so much food for some people but no food for others? How can anyone torture small animals such as hedgehogs and why would you ever abandon a dog? Talking about dogs, I'm so sad that I'm allergic to all furry creatures because when I feel this sad it would be nice to have a dog.




Why, oh why - do these hormones make me cry?

Why did I not call my brother and sort out if Aatu was coming to mine or not last weekend?

Why did I not buy chocolate from the shop? 

Why didn't I answer when my mom was calling and why, oh why do I go to work at 7am tomorrow? 

Why did Vanessa move to Helsinki?

Why is Jordan so far away?

Why do I have a crush and why do I keep singing David Archuletas stupid love song all day long?

All these thoughts were written down in 10min. That's hormones for you.

I'll have that chocolate now thank you. Wait what, no I don't have any as I need to lose weight to be successful in this world.

Fuck you hormones,

love: Jenni