Letters to My Best Friend

This one is for Salla.

"When my best friend's dad died and she called me we cried on the phone together. And when it was her dads funeral I sat in the front row and held her hand.

Being someones best friend is like being in a marriage or in a relationship. Last night as me and Salla went to McDonalds secretly to buy some nuggets (which we both frown upon when sober) we talked about our friendship. We were sitting on the bus stop waiting for 95N and both agreed how truly wonderful our friendship is.

Mine and Sallas friendship didn't start the best possible way. She wasmad at me as I was involved with her ex. When the news of her annoyance reached me, I went to talk to her about it as I hate smack talk behind my back and we've been friends, tight as a knot ever since.

In the past seven years me and Salla have lived apart many times, in four different continents. We've also lived together three times in the past seven years. Salla knows everyone in my family, she knows the family secrets and when ever someone calls they always send greetings to her. She gets Valentine's Day cards from my mum and literally is part of my family.

When I was a kid, I envied people with best friends. Fuck them really! Only walked in the pack of two, always took the other one with and you always felt a bit left out. I didn't understand what it is to have one, to have someone who you can be yourself, to live with, to hang out with and to cry with before I became friends with Salla.

When I lose my temper Salla usually starts crying and I start to feel really bad. Back in the day I was known for my bad temper and foul words, if you pissed me off I would tell it to you straight. Now as an adult I've learned to calm myself down, not to be so dramatic over everything and chill. However sometimes one thing can tick me off so bad that my temper boils over and I just get furious. To have a friend by your side who's seen me on my worst and still sticks by my side is a gift.





The Bus Stop 

Me: I have to admit, it will be very difficult to see you off to some man one day.
Salla: I know, same here. The person who we end up being in a relationship has to understand that our friendship goes first and others follow.
Me: Yea, it's not like I want us to be Jenni and Salla forever I know that things will change and we move on from our friendship bubble. I'm just a bit afraid of the change, we are adults now and not 22 something who party all night and sleep wherever. I feel that change is coming.
Salla. Change is good though but I know what you mean. I'm also a bit afraid that you end up with someone I don't like and it affects our friendship.
Jenni: I don't think that's possible, I don't think we could be with someone who doesn't get us and what we are to each other - soul sisters.
Salla: True.
Jenni: Salla, I love you. I really do.
Salla: Right back at ya, I love you too.

We sat there by the bus stop eating our nuggets.

I'm writing this sentimental and sappy post because Salla is off to Latvia for five weeks and we really haven't been separated since we were reunited in 2012 Autumn.

Friendships are like relationships without the physical attraction and close friendship is like marriage especially when you live with your best friend. I've been so lucky having Salla as my friend and my roommate.

The Life of Jenni and Salla

1. We never argue what to watch on tv, we are almost always content whatever the other one is watching and if one is interested in something else we have never troubles in making a compromise.

2. We never need to separate our groceries. There is no Jennis shelf and Sallas space in our fridge, we've never fought over each other food.

3. One is never lonely, you always have a friend close by just the other side of the wall.

4. We have our separate lives. Salla works in a completely different field than me and we rarely discuss work, only if there has been something special then we do. Salla has her friends and I have mine. Our friends get along with the both of us but we usually don't hang out during the week with each other.

5. We are completely comfortable being quiet when we are hanging out. I never have to fill in the silence, we like silence but we also enjoy talking.

6. We rarely argue over cleaning, we might suggest that "if it's okay I hoover today but can you hoover then next week."

7. Money, we are not petty over money. We share the living expenses but other life stuff like going out to eat or buying drinks has never been "you pay me back that 10 euros I used when I bought you those two drinks" It's more of you paid these I pay those kind of a deal with us.

8. We are very different. I come from a big, messy and loud family. Salla is the only child. I'm used to share everything where Salla has been the only kid in the house. I'm impulsive, Salla likes to think things over. I save, she buys. Salla schedules everything whereas I update my calendar once a month.

9. I'm jealous, Salla isn't. I don't like sharing my best friend with others but I'm also aware that I can't own anyone. I hate people who think they can interfere in our friendship or meddle in our business. Biggest mistake is to come between me and Salla when we fight, that always makes things worse as my temper get really bad. When we fight, it's not anyone's business but ours.

10. Salla is my best friend. With all the good and the bad, with boyfriends and future plans, with work and family and whatever life will bring us I couldn't cope without her. Salla is very very dear to me and I thank the day I made my way to her apartment and forced my way to her life.

Above anything, I want Salla to know that I admire her strength and courage, I wish I was as strong willed as she is. When I was attending her dads funeral I admired the way she carried her grief, with dignity and care. I don't think I've ever met anyone with such a dry sense of humor and who cries when she sees any sorts of animal documents on tv. Salla doesn't seem to think that life has good things planned for her and that she keeps getting screwed over by guys over and over. I say to this bullshit.

Salla dear, you are by far one of the prettiest girls I know and are an absolute gem as a person. You are asked out for a date just when you stand outside. You are so well loved by all your friends, a bit intimated by you peers as you are so good in what you do and I'm sure as hell your dad is forever proud when he looks after you from sky high. Good things are in your way, I told you the other day that I feel that times are changing and it's only good thing. I assure you, everything will be okay.

Salla, happy travels in Latvia. I'll miss you :) 

Jenni