Hey!I have talked so much about Johannas and Samis wedding, that you ought to think I was the one who got married. But it wasn't. I guess the reason for my enthusiasm over their big day is that I've been able to witness two of my friends falling in love and making it work, building their life together and being as in love today as they were five years ago.
I'm especially happy to be able to say to all you LOVE critics and pessimists out there that: SUCK IT, true love DOES exist. I just had a discussion with an ultimate love critic who said that love is merely a feeling, it's about endorphins that mess up your system for sometime until the feeling passes and if you are still together after this, then you'll grow up in love.
I don't fully disagree, but as for a person who has witnessed and been in love - there is a difference between one being in love and one being in love with the right person. This person X said that after six months, the infatuation passes and we are left with two people facing the reality - to stick together or break up. Person X said that the problem with marriages these days is that we are after that feeling of infatuation so badly that we miss the part where you should get over the first stage to get to the second one, getting to know each other properly and to learn to love the good and the bad in one another.
And, I don't disagree. I do believe that people give up on love too easily. When the trouble starts knocking, one starts packing. But I honestly believe, that when you are with that right person - that one soulmate you were meant to be and lucky to find, that feeling of infatuation does not go away. It's that infatuation that helps you through the ruff patch and helps you compromise. When it's not the right person, when it's not for the right reasons infatuation does go away and you seek it from somewhere else.
One of my worst qualities is to judge my friends in relationships. I have this list where I can say: Will they or won't they make it. This list of mine is based on good intuition, knowing my friends very well and also to seeing them together and how they act. I'm well known by people around me to know if the couple is meant to be.
I base a lot of my intuition on being able to see is the infatuation a fleeing kind or will it last. Have I ever been proven wrong? No. Has any of my friends in a relationship proven me wrong: No.
With some couples, I can see that they'll make it 6-7 years, some I would call it off immediately and with a few, I've seen the other person being in love more than the other. I never directly say to the person: you are not going to make it but if I'm asked directly - I do state my doubts because I hate lying but I never say that there isn't any hope.
All relationships are different and people look for different things from them. For some, it's not about the infatuation but merely companionship. For some they aren't thinking about the forever but what feels good for now and who am I to judge that? Mostly with couples I keep my thought to myself but nothing makes me happier than seeing two people so right for each other to end up together.
Before the Wedding
Johanna and Sami got engaged few years ago and I was asked to be Johannas Maid of Honor via one drunken phonecall in Midsummer 2011. I was living in Scotland then and I was so happy to receive this reqest from the happy couple. Johanna and I started our little Facebook wedding group, just the two of us gathering all sorts of wedding articles and ideas for their big day.The wedding was originally supposed to be in 2014 but then Johanna said that they have decided to get hitched already in 2013.
"Why?"
- Well, we just want to be married. We are so much in love and it's not the Gods Amen we are looking for but we want to throw a good party, to make our relationship official and we want to get married, it doesn't matter if it's now or 2026 but we feel that the time is right now.
Being part of my close friends wedding has been a big deal for me. Me and Johanna have always had a close friendship, not always an easy one but close. I feel very protective over my friend and there are times when I consider her as my little sister. When I decided to move to Helsinki, I knew it would be hard to be as helpful as I wanted to be but I have tried my best to be supportive even from the distance.
Me and Laura worked very hard on Johannas Bachelorette party and I do want to give out a special thank you for her because of this.
I wasn't in Vaasa when Laura did all the planning and organizing and a lot of credit over Johannas succesful party goes to her. Thank you Laura!
Johannas bachelorette party was on 17th of August and I traveled to Vaasa in secret. I was beyond paranoid when walking through the streets and feeling that Johanna was hiding behind every corner. Johanna never said directly what to do and what not to do but she said that "being embarrassed in front of a crowd isn't her idea of good time". Based on this the bachelorette party was a very low key event. There were only handful of friends present and the days itinerary was nothing too extravagant.
- We surprised Johanna from her workplace. This was planned ahead with Johannas manager and coworkers.
- Johanna enjoyed some chocolate massage (Which turned out to be quite sensual experience)
- Brunch at Lindas house, everyone had cooked some foods and desserts to enjoy.
- Photo session at a photo studio.
- Making drinks at local club.
-Limo ride to the cabin.
- Girls night in at the cabin, this included sauna, drinks and some games.
- Wife Olympics.
It was wonderful to meet up with the Bachelorette crew whom had played a major part in planning and organizing events for Johannas bachelorette party. Johanna is well loved by her friends and everyone tried their hardest to make Johannas day so special. Personally I'm happy that due the bachelorette party, I made some new friends! Thank you guys!
The bride-to-be texted me on Wednesday, three days after the bachelorette party, that she was finally sober. As it happens Johanna had guessed that her party would be on that rainy Saturday and woken up by 7 to wait for us to 'surprise her'. She said she was so bummed to go to work and what it seemd like 'a guess gone wrong.' Her face, total surprise and shock when our loud party dropped in for a little surprise was something I never forget.
The Wedding
Johanna and Sami got married on September 14th, known to be the Sunniest Autumn day ever known. I arrived to Vaasa already on Wednesday to help out with the decorating and preparing the wedding venue for the big day.
As I live in Helsinki, I don't get to hang out with Johanna as much as I would like, so to be able to hang out, to chat and spend time together for those days before the wedding was lots of fun. We worked hard to make the place perfect, with the help from Samis family and from the bestman, the place started to look just as the bride had always dreamed of.
For Sami and Johanna, this was just a formality and they knew that they had nothing to be nervous about. Before the wedding, Johanna said to me that:
"Jenni, is it really odd that I'm not nervous at all? Maybe a bit stressed because I want everything to go well but as for the marriage, but I'm not nervous at all. I know I love Sami and nothing will change after this - nothing but my last name. I'm only going to do this once in this life and I have no doubts what so ever that this is that one time".
As for myself, I was in the presence of my best friends. Johanna 1 + 2, Iiro and Salla (+Pauliina) were all there. Also I have grown to care a lot about Sami as well, with time we have turned out to be good friends.
Having all my best people in the same place, at the same time was so important to me.
When life gets hard, these are the people I turn to, they've known me for a long time and they have seen me change from an angry teen to who I am today. Iiros girlfriend Pauliina was at the wedding too and after the party Salla said to me: "Jenni, I'm so happy that Pauliina came to the wedding too. It's been so wonderful to get to know her as well. I think we can officially say that she is part of our group now!"
Iiro took the stage at the wedding and sang Coldplays "Yellow" in the church - and I'm not kidding, almost everyone was in tears. He did so well that at the wedding party everyone came to thank him for the song. I'm so proud of my friend, he has such a good voice, if only he would also to realize this.
How was the wedding? As it happens, there weren't too many sober people at Johanna and Samis wedding. To be fair, it's Finland and the in the Western area, we are famous for our skill to throw a party and how to party. Johanna and Sami have a very youthful and outgoing friend group and family, so wasn't a surprise to anyone when their wedding has been described as the best wedding ever.
I was one of the only few who was somewhat sober that night. I had only some wine and champagne that evening and I worked. Some guests asked me, if I was super stressed for running around filling cups and cleaning. I wasn't, I was on teacher mode. When you are a teacher and you do something, you focus on the task at hand and you kinda stop seeing everything else. When everyone else is drinking and dancing it does not bother me as I was determined to have Johanna not to stress at all.See, my friend is somewhat a perfectionist and really rarely asks for anything as she likes to do things herself so when she asked me to make sure things go smoothly and to run things, that's what I do. I didn't want her, on her wedding day to think about foods and empty cups and I know if I ever asked her to do the same for me, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Johanna doesn't let just anyone in to her heart so for me, being asked to help out and take care of things was an honor and there will be other parties where I can get drunk and shit faced.
To sum up the evening:
I had to call one ex-boyfriend to pick up his ex because she had one too many.
There was a small fire.
I had an argument with the bestman. (Well two arguments)
Salla ended up making out with one of the guests.
The floor turned black from all the dancing and beer that fell on it.
Stove didn't work so me and Laura heated up about 80 hotdogs and sausages in the microwave.
One guest almost dripped into the fire place.
The happy couples wedding dance turned everyone into cry babies.
I left the venue and close the doors at 3am. Johanna and Salla waited for me and we got a ride back to town from Linda and her mum! (Thanks Linda and mum!) Me and Salla slept on this airbed that needed refill in every three hours. "Salla, we need to put some more air innit again" I said at 5am, 7am and at 10am. I have never slept so poorly as I slept that night. Laura called me at 11am that we should make our way to clean up the wedding venue. This was the point I was so happy that I didn't drink the night before. With some help from family and guests we cleaned the 'murder scene' rather quickly. I said tearful goodbyes to Sami and Johanna and went on to Lasses house. I was leaving back to Helsinki that evening.
Iiro, Johanna, Pauliina and Salla were all at the train station and we were talking about the last nights party. Salla especially had been partying it up and wasn't sure what went down the night beforeAll the sudden, just 3 minutes before the train was due to leave I saw my mum coming towards me. As I had been so busy with the wedding and cleaning I had forgotten to tell her I was about to leave. She had checked online the departure time and rushed to say goodbyes. I can honestly say, that I was so touched by this that it made me miss home and my mum really badly. Mum, I love you so much for coming to say byes and to tell me I'm loved. Thank you.
The road home was a tired one. Salla slept most of it and I was awake reading books and thought over all the shenanigans. Still, a week later I over the moon happy to have spent that one day with my friends and seeing to of my best friends get married. I couldn't be happier for Johanna and Sami and my famous intuition says that this will last. You will make it. I've never seen a couple so right for each other and so happy to be together. I know that for you two, getting married wasn't such a big deal but for the rest of us who witnessed your wedding it was, because it reminded us what we should look for, what we deserve and what is real love like.
As friends we are much closer than before and after many bear from Sami, I can honestly say that he has made his way to my heart as well.I'm so happy for you two and I shall use your love and happiness to fight against all the skeptics and love critics out there because you two are a proof that when the right one comes to the picture, time doesn't matter, marriage isn't stressful nor your feet cold. I proud to be your friend and that was there to help out on your big day.
Congrats for the happy couple. I hope to see you soon :)
Jenni
PS. Thank you Johanna for not making me wear anything like this !
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